I know I'm a strong woman, and I know what I'm fully capable of.

I know what’s in my heart, what's in my mind.How I feel and what I do is all manifested through ME and no one else though some of my actions may be influence by others, I don’t allow that to completely dictate the outcome of my decisions.I am in no way shape or form apologetic for who I am.

I do what I think is best for me and my life it may not be suitable in the eyes of others but I rather stay true to my colors even if that does cost me to stand alone. But I rather stand as an outcast, than being loved for who I am not and will never be. My self worth is not empowered by the constant need of acceptance by others-I clearly don’t need someone to uphold who I am. Why conform to the standards of what this world wants when I already know what I’m about. It takes a lot more than a couple of hurtful words to infuse my confidence with insecurity. So people can do what the must to attempt to hold me back, but I will continue to do me-at my best and fullest potential. There’s no stopping me, I’m a force to be reckoned with.

random

Stats About Esther

Esther Elfrida Keun has 595 friends. 177 of them are male, 326 are female, and 92 are confused about their gender. Based on her Facebook profile, Esther has a 99% chance of getting married and is likely to have 9 children over her reproductive years. She will make ab...out $14,292,080 in her life and pay $4,287,624 in taxes. In Esther's life, she will have spent 24 years sleeping, and 650 hours on the toilet. She will probably live to be about 99 years old. 536 people will attend her funeral with 11 of them expecting some kind of inheritance.


I like the money part xD

“I am not the happiest person. In fact, in the battle between joy and misery, I’d say that the latter often seems to prevail. I don’t like this, and every day I refuse, for the eighty millionth time, to put up with another minute of it. But the world does what it does, and I often find it disagreeable. After all these years, I’m kind of resigned to that. But I do have one thing on my side: I have enormous faith. And hope. I am not speaking of the kind you find in church or in the afterlife or in heaven or in the Saint James Bible or in the Hare Krishna’s that we all encounter changing flights in the airports of the world, I am speaking of a simple faith that says that one way or another, no matter how many times I stumble and stub my big toe, somehow life is going to work itself out.”

forgive and forget

That's what they say.

It's a good advice,but it's not very practical.

When someone hurts us,we want to hurt them back.

When someone wrongs us,we want to be right.

Without forgiveness,old scores are never settled

old wounds never heal.

And the most we can hope for.

is that one day we'll be lucky to forget.

Unless it’s something personally important to me, I’m not going to go out of my way to argue back with somone (especially something so small, so minuscule, and most likely something irrelevant). It’s not because I’m “afraid” or I have no “back bone,” but I seriously do not have the time and patience to go back and forth with an idiot when it’s going to go no where.

I miss you daddy I wish I can see you one more time I love you always.

"This time last year"

Almost every day I think that to myself. I reflect on how much has changed, the people who were in my life, the way I felt. I compare and contrast, and then I just think to myself, “I would have never saw this coming”. Then I start to become a little afraid of what else is in stored. No matter what I do, everything ends the way they’re supposed to, regardless whether you think you know how to prevent it or not.

Yeah, I used to like you. So what? Just because I did didn’t mean that we had to be together. And just because I did didn’t mean that it was going to grow into something more, I just liked you. Just liked. Just because we liked each other didn’t mean it had to be more than what it was. I don’t know how else to emphasize that when it’s plain and simple. The more you tried to force it, the more I started not to like you.

I don’t think a lot of people understand that you can do anything to make a person happy, but if they just feel that you’re not the type, you can’t do anything about it. And the putting the guilt trip that you did everything you could to make them happy isn’t a good reason to make someone stay - they still don’t want to be with you, they”re just obligated.

ZOMG, Joshua Michael Peck a.k.a Josh Peck from Josh & Drake.
HISSS PHUCKING HOT.

Before.

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After.

His mine

“I’d learned about the places I wanted to go, I’d talked about them with friends, but I hadn’t actually set foot outside my door. The terrain of my hear, the landscape of love, was still entirely unexplored. But people are right when they say the hardest step of every journey was the first, and I was scared.”

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Friends are like balloons: once you let them go, you can’t get them back. So I’m gonna tie you to my heart so I don’t lose you.”

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”


Les Brown

well what is there to love ?

“i spend all my time trying to understand why people hurt those they love and why people hurt me or don’t care enough to hurt me even. but i always seem to ignore the shit i cause and stir up and ruin on nearly a daily basis by just being unhappy and confused. i spend so much time trying to decipher actions, trying to ignore my own mental state of disruption or confusion or whatever bullshit word that can be uttered to explain something that can’t be understood. it seems almost like human nature to try and discover everyone’s mind while ignoring your own. i am angry and frustrated and competitive for something i already have and would want to die without, i know you don’t approve but i feel that way. i have put all of this into you, i have put myself into you. i can never seem to wrap my mind around anything, i focus on a small detail and miss the big picture, fuck what even is the big picture? people always talk about seeing the bigger picture well what the hell is it, where is it. can they even see it? i can’t seem to find myself anymore, i can only find my problems. it’s not fair to feel this terrible while trying to experience the most beautiful thing in my life. it’s insane that i manage to ruin everything while loving you the most.”

“maybe that’s your problem, you shouldn’t love me the most. you should love yourself the most.”

I now know better than to depend on certain individuals. I should have already picked up the signs after being disappointed so many times before but for some reason, I had hope that they would prove me wrong. So here I am, kicking myself over for relying on people when I should have known better. You can’t always receive the same treatment that you put out and I realize that they have ‘other’ priorities that might differ from mine. Therefore, things are about to change quite drastically. Don’t ask me for anything, don’t rely on me, don’t even think about it. If you want to be selfish with your values, I will learn to be as well.

Thanks for everything (whatever that may be).

“Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.You’re not as fat as you imagine.”

“Since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general, only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess”

Tell me about your affairs, all the torrid details, all the blushes and anxiety, I’ll keep it all close to my chest, I swear. Tell me about your sins and your secrets. We’ll be blanket buddies stuck in this night.

Lately, my eyes have been been able to perceive much more than it had been seeing. Everything has surfaced from the ashes of denial and lies. I have been blinded by oblivion but now that I am able to take notice of how people react and listen to the things that they are saying, it has become a lot easier for me to distinguish between certain factors. But at the same time, it makes me question their motives. I don’t see myself as a threat to anyones happiness so there is no need to become defensive.

Believe me when I say, I see everything.

blue

In your soul are infinitely

precious things that cannot

be taken away from you.

the women

A million stars would explode from within her eyes; eyes that told ancient stories of the devastating war between every man who sacrificed his own soul to attain the sacred holy grail who was rumored to have taken the form of a female. Her lashes curled innocently like Venus fly traps, waiting patiently for the next willing victim who dares to underestimate the potent of such angelic features. Her pupils dilated in the manner of her pounding heartbeat. She had the heart of a warrior and the lips of a thief, stealing every soul and baring their anatomy to the pale, crescent moon. Her love was like a revolver, made ready to kill. She was venomous to the touch but too hypnotically entrancing to resist. Such will to live would become completely obliterated in the presence of such a beautiful face - the Queen of death, the Goddess of lust, the temptress of desire, in the flesh. I fell in love the same day I completely surrendered my soul to the devil and died the same grandiose moment of my rebirth. While our eyes had their secret rendezvous, I felt the fire that burns passionately in the core of such an magnificent soul. The essence of her being was like the inexorable truth, a phenomenon of its own kind, a rare breed of artistry. She was far too majestic for words and I find myself slowly slipping into the crevices of excruciating desire to see her, just so that I can relive every single second of our short encounter. I have become another prey to the most dazzling predator of them all, a woman.

There are some people in this world who dedicate themselves to the well-being of people they may never meet in real life. And it just blows my mind to think of the lives they save, just by paying attention and caring, that people trust them enough to give them the numbers to call when something goes wrong. It’s beautiful, to think there are people out there who care that much, just because they understand.

Not that this makes any sense to any of you without context, but whatever. Just know that there are good people in this world

I hate when people send a text message like a long ass text message and then like somebody replies with like one word and you don't text them back and you see them later and they're like, " why didn't you text me back ! ? " What the fork am i supposed to reply to ?

“To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.”

— Anna Louise Strong

Look at this babies.OMG

learn to reject the negative influence that the sadistic tendancies of others may have on you

It is okay to be selfish every now and again. For looking out for others more often than you take care of yourself, is not healthy. It is exhausting and rarely worth it. Because people leave, especially when you need them most.

mighty to save

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

My Saviour, you can move the mountains,
You are mighty to save,
You are mighty to save.
Forever, Author of Salvation,
You rose and conquered the grave,
Yes you conquered the grave

Why you'ed say the truth hurts,are you feeling guilty for what you have done ?All this while You were using me just to forget bout your ex.Is this fair ? Since you know you can't be with her,i understand you miss her,but that doesn't mean you got to use me to get over her.THIS IS NOT FAIR AT ALL.Don't forget karma soon will hit you back REALLY HARD !

the truth

I have a serious problem with letting someone know that i care about them, or that i may be dependent on their affection.

In every relationship in my life i am in a constant power struggle, attempting to reserve my affection and hoard it. I don’t like to share, I don’t like to feel like I care more than the other person does.

So i wait around until they tell me that we are friends, until they say that we are close, until they deem our friendship meaningful in their lives,and i just play along.

I will never define what a relationship or a person means to me unless they do it first. I refuse to ever let myself make the first move.

I will never care about you more than you care about me, and if i do, that means that i can no longer have a relationship with you because i will need to sabotage it in order to keep myself from getting hurt.

I know that it is wrong, that it is selfish and counterproductive to my happiness and the growth of my heart,but that is the way it is, every conversation i am having with you, every plan i make with you i am constantly thinking about who holds the power.

So when i disappear for weeks on end it’s not because i am busy, it’s because i need to show myself that i can survive without you. I need to reestablish that i hold the power.,that i care less, that a couple of weeks without you is possible.

So there you have it,

why every relationship i have ever had fails. why i am so fucking difficult about everything, and why i am always so quick to disappear.

and frankly, i don’t see it changing any time soon.

true love got the power to change any circumstance

i knew we were far from the same but still i took a chance. wish i could have look in advance to your advances. knowing i’m the book that you read to your advantage. i understand it’s not like we planned it with the worst intentions. taken advantage, i was stranded in your first impressions. i know it hurts to question, what will be a curse or blessin’ i guess it’s worth confessin’, maybe then we’ll learn our lesson. searching for your attention, hoping you were doing the same.

Nobody wants to admit this, but bad things will keep on happening. Maybe that’s because it’s all a chain, and a long time ago someone did the first bad thing, and that led someone else to do another bad thing, and so on. You know, like that game where you whisper a sentence into someones’ ear, and that person whispers it to someone else, and it all comes out wrong in the end. But then again, maybe bad things happen because it’s the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like.”

- Jodi Picoult

URGH EVERYTHING IS SO PHUCKING MESSED UP.

I need patience.

there were so many things, there were so many signs

and now i’m chasing wings knowing it’s a waste of time until my god reminds me of what i truly need. i take a look behind just before your beauty leaves to get a glimpse of you hoping that you see me too and know we staring at two people that we never knew and probably never know, hoping i’ll forever grow into the one who finally gained the strength to let you go. you changed my ideas of what true love is. i wipe my eyes clear and rise above this.

French's classic yellow mustard taste so so so goodd.

I’m becoming deeply stupid over this sometimes it’s ok but sometimes it’s not i sort of wish it would just pick a direction and go with it sometimes the not knowing is fine and all but mostly it isn’t mostly i just want to stab myself with a fork or eat my pillow or something.

grrr.

don't pay attention to what someone says

Pay attention to what they do, instead. Words are just for talking. See if they can back up what they say. If they say something, just keep it in mind until you actually see what they said. The best way to judge something is to see it in it’s natural state. Anyone can talk the talk. Actions are proof of who they are. Don’t judge someone for what they say. If we judge everyone by their words, everyone would look like a king. Their words won’t have meaning until their actions give it definition. Always stay on your toes.

OMG,first of all i want to apologize to SHANNEN YONG.
I woke up late,im so sorry i missed the practice.I'll make it up to you.=)
I havent gym in 2 days,i feel like a mofo.

weekend is back

Cheerleading ; 8.00-10.30am.FML :/

Gym ; 2 hours,im dying to get into the steamed bathe.

Pack clothes ; Balik kampung for Easter.FTW !

BEST PART OF IT NO INTERNET,that means no blogging and facebooking.FOR A DAY !

Wedding ; On sunday.

Today's dinner/supper was of the hook =D

I had Grilled chicken with mushroom with baked potato and garlic bread,while mummy had Grilled Dori fish with crabmeat together with baked potato and garlic bread.

Thanks mummy for the awsomeee food =)

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be a better tomorrow.

Great mummy prank me like againnn.Like twice,Anyways Im so happy to see her laughing. =) She puts a smile on my face.& again i got FOOLED. !