Unstoppable Danger.

It is really a classic temperamental error that occurs in most relationships: judging your partner by how you would react, even though your partner has a different temperament, different experiences, and different developmental and emotional history. Though we’re all tempted to do this, it’s really a form of narcissism - the way I would react is the standard for all decent people; so you have to conform to what I think is appropriate. Reconciling disputes born of temperamental differences requires binocular vision-the ability to see your partner’s perspective alongside your own, indeed, to see the world through his/her eyes at the same time you see it through your own. Binocular vision, perhaps the most important of relationship skills, makes the world seem richer and more dynamic. Failure of binocular vision creates a reactive narcissism (you’re incapable of seeing your loved one apart from how you feel about him/her).”


— Steven Stosny, Anger In the Age of Entitlement