Unstoppable Danger.

2010-10-19T05:14:00.000-07:00

Fate brings you together,but its still up to you to make it happen.We may meet someone by chance,but keeping that someone is still a choice.

2010-07-29T07:32:00.000-07:00

You're the one who broke my heart, you're the reason my world fell apart, you're the one who made me cry, yet I'm still in love with you and I don't know why.

Maybe he was right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that you loved me, but maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone.

2010-07-29T06:15:00.000-07:00

Hi, Mommy. I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Happiness

2010-07-20T01:16:00.000-07:00

- finding you musical soulmate

- when he smiles at you

- spinning around in the rain

- unexpected texts

- finding something thought you'd lost

- feeling pretty

- winning an argument

- getting letters in the mail

- noticing something you never had

- slipping on your new pair of shoes

- cheering someone up

- knowing that everything will be okay

2010-07-20T01:12:00.000-07:00

I hate that feeling when you're about to cry and someone asks you if theres anything wrong or to cheer you up and you try to smile but you just physically can't do it and eventually the effort of trying to smile for this one person has the tears spilling over.It makes me feel so defeated by life when I can't find the strength to smile in those moments.

I want to start living my life

2010-07-19T07:50:00.000-07:00

I’m tired of feeling chained down by the internet, by text messages, by the television, by other people.
I want to run and keep running and keep running until I end up in a place where I can breathe God in and never have worry about forgetting when it’s time to exhale.
I want bare feet and promises that never get taken back. I want to hear things that are said from the depth of truth, not from impulse or emotion.
I want to be wrapped in a hug and know that I was made for them. I want swing-sets and cliff-diving. I want bonfires and the feeling of family that I’ve been missing my whole life.
I want this awful aching feeling in my chest to go away.
I want to be sure of something for once in my life.
I want to stop questioning evrything people say to me.
i want to lose my attachment to this world.
I want to stop getting my heart broken.I woke up feeling like this, missing everything.

SPM TIMETABLE 2010

2010-07-19T07:41:00.001-07:00

Monday 22/11/2010
8:00 - 10:15 AM
Bahasa Melayu 1

11:00 - 12:15 PM
Seni Visual (Teori)

2:00 - 4:30 PM
Bahasa Melayu 2

Tuesday 23/11/2010
8:00 - 9:45 AM
Bahasa Inggeris 1

10:30 - 12:45 PM
Bahasa Inggeris 2

Wednesday 24/11/2010
8:00 - 9:00 AM.
Sejarah 1

10:00 - 12:30 PM
Sejarah 2

Thursday 25/11/2010
8:00 - 9:15 AM
Math 1

10:00 - 12:30 PM
Math 2

Monday 29/11/2010
8:00 - 10:30 AM
Moral

Tuesday 30/11/2010
8:00 - 10:00 AM
Add Math 1

2:00-4:00 PM
Add Math 2

Wednasday 1/12/2010
8:00 - 9:15 AM
Science 1

8:00 - 9:15 AM
Physics 1

10:00 - 12:30 PM
Science 2

10:00 - 12:30 PM
Physics 2

2:00 - 3:30 PM
Physics 3

Thursday 2/12/2010
8:00 - 9:15AM
Chemistry 1

10:00 - 12:30 PM
Chemistry 2

2:00 - 3:30 PM
Chemistry 3

Monday 6/12/2010
8:00 - 9:15 AM
Perdagangan 1

8:00 - 9:15 AM
Biology 1

10:00 - 12:00 PM
Perdagangan 2

10:00 - 12:30 PM
Biology 2

2:00 - 3:30 PM
Biology 3

Wednesday 8/12/2010
11:15 - 12:30 PM
Accounts 1

2:00 - 4:30 PM
Accounts 2

Thursday 9/12/2010
2:00 - 5:00 PM
Seni Visual 2

Monday 13/12/2010
8:00 - 10:15 AM
Bahasa Cina 1

11:15 - 1:00 PM
Bahasa Cina 2

2:00 - 4:00 PM
Geografi 2

Tuesday 14/12/2010
2:00 - 3.15 PM
Geografi 1

2010-07-14T23:46:00.000-07:00

Got a secret, can you keep it?

Promise this one you’ll save.

Gotta lock it, in your pocket.

Taking this one to the grave.

If I show you, then I know you

Won’t tell what I said

‘Cause two can keep a secret

If one of them is dead.

2010-07-13T01:43:00.000-07:00

“If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?”

—	Beauty & the Beast

2010-07-12T07:04:00.000-07:00

“I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.”

—	The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Updates

2010-07-12T06:57:00.000-07:00

Okay I decided to cut my hair !

Inspired look :

This ?

or this ????

I prefer the 1st one actually.

2010-07-12T02:48:00.001-07:00

“You weren’t created to be a failure. Sure some things may not have worked out and there have been some disappointments. But all these things helped guide you in a direction that was meant for you. Your life has purpose and significance. Try to be patient if it isn’t all crystal clear just yet. For now, just know that you weren’t created to fail.”

2010-07-12T00:11:00.000-07:00

Students sitting for the SPM examination is analogous to a cow, as this examination assesses the ability of students to swallow and regurgitate information. Subjects can be easily passed by memorizing the entire textbook without actually understanding anything.

While other international examinations are increasing in standard every year, the SPM examination has shown a steady decline compared from 70s and 80s until today. The reason is simple, if the standard is lowered, more students (read: Malays) will be able to score As, this would appear as if Malaysians are getting smarter every year, credits to the government for this ingenious plan.

For example, take a look at actual questions for SPM Math:

1960s - The equation 3x^2+px+120=0, where p >0 has roots α and β. α-β=3. Evaluate the value of p and (αβ)^2. Hence, calculate the third derivative of y=3x^2+px+120.

1980s - The quadratic equation x^2+px+q=0 has roots -2 and 6. Find the value of (p+q), hence, form a quadratic equation with roots p, q

2000s - A quadratic equation has the roots 2 and 3. State the sum of 2 and 3.

2020 - If the number 2 is a color, would you like that color? Why?

2010-07-11T05:13:00.001-07:00

“I saw you today. I realized how far apart we’ve grown. I know I should ask you how you’re doing, but I can’t. I wish I could. It occurred to me that we’re strangers now. You don’t know me anymore, much less want to. Everything is so different now.”

2010-07-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

“Then, without warning, we both straightened up, turned towards each other, and began to kiss. After that, it is difficult for me to speak of what happened. Such things have little to do with words, so little, in fact, that it seems almost pointless to try to express them. If anything, I would say we were falling into each other, that we were falling so fast and so far that nothing could catch us. Again, I lapse into metaphor. But that is probably beside the point. For whether or not I can talk about it does not change the truth of what happened. The fact is, there never was such a kiss, and in all my life I doubt there can ever be such a kiss again."

From The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster

2010-07-02T22:26:00.000-07:00

There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything,but it's not giving up.It's realizing that you don't need certain people and their crap.

2010-06-09T23:12:00.000-07:00

Inside every women's heart is a girl

who dreams of a prince charming.

Maybe not the perfect one she imagined

when she was a kid,but someone who

can appreciate and love her for who

she truly is and sweep her of her feet.

2010-06-09T10:14:00.000-07:00

“What is the real good?”
I ask in a musing mood.

“Order,” said the law court;
“Knowledge,” said the school;
“Truth,” said the wise man;
“Pleasure,” said the fool;
“Love,” said the maiden;
“Beauty,” said the page;
“Freedom,” said the dreamer;
“Home,” said the sage;
“Fame,” said the soldier;
“Equity,” said the seer.
Spake my heart fully sad:
“The answer is not here.”

Then within my bosom,
Softly this I heard:
“Each heart holds the secret:
‘Kindness’ is the word.”

John Boyle O’Reilly

2010-06-08T09:58:00.000-07:00

I wish daddy could watch Toy Story 3 with me :(

2010-06-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

Though an army may encamp against me, My heart shall not fear; Though war may rise against me,In this I will be confident. For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; In the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock. I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart.

Psalm 27

One of those facebook group I recently came across with.

2010-06-04T23:10:00.000-07:00

No I havent met Mr.Right yet but I have met Mr.Fake,Mr.Rude and Mr.Player.

2010-05-31T08:32:00.003-07:00

I seriously need to go for anger management classes.

10 Excuses To Use When Caught Napping at Your Desk.

2010-05-29T22:30:00.000-07:00

1. ........ in the Lord Jesus' name,Amen.

2. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.

3. Damn ! Why did you interrupt me ? I had almost worked out a solution to our biggest problem.

4. I was doing yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress.

5. Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot.

6. I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.

7. This is just 15 minute powernap,as described in that time management course you sent me.

8. I wasn't sleeping ! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

9. The coffee machine is broken.

10. Whew ! Guess i left the top off the liquid paper ! you got here just in time !

Confused

2010-05-25T08:35:00.000-07:00

What is this feeling I have?
I seem to love you
But other times I seem to loathe you

I can't be without you
Or maybe just without anyone
I think about you all the time
But why do I have this feeling?

I long for your voice
And I would die to hear your laugh
But is this love
Or merely lust?

Mr 305,meet me at the hotel room.

2010-05-25T08:29:00.000-07:00

I missed Pitbull's Concert,FML.

Pitbull baby ♥

owh yeah.

2010-05-21T04:57:00.000-07:00

2010-05-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

“After rescuing a princess, getting hitched and fathering triplets, Shrek is feeling over-domesticated. ‘He has lost his roar,’ says director Mike Mitchell. ‘It used to send villagers running away in terror. Now they run to him and ask him to sign their pitchforks and torches.’”

“To regain his ogre mojo, he strikes a deal with Rumpelstiltskin, the wee troublemaker who popped up briefly in Shrek 2 and 3. Of course, the pact goes awry and Shrek must confront what life would be like in Far Far Away if he had never existed. That translates into Donkey being forced into cart-pulling duty, fat and lazy Puss in Boots trading his sword for a pink bow and the underhanded Rumpelstiltskin ruling the kingdom.”

GOOD MOVIE :D

I have History tomorrow and I have not study yet :/
I just do not get it.History is a bitch.
I quote Harientha Tan 'Why are you people still care about the past? WE SHOULD STUDY THE FUTURE, NOT THE PAST! I strongly agreed.
HISTORY IS USELESS.urghhhhh.

Next movie :

A Nightmare On Elm Street

Better be good.

I was so close to being happy for once again.

2010-05-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

Every time I’m on the verge of breaking out the shell to sheer happiness, my wings fail me and I get crushed.

But seriously, what’s the point of even being happy if all that ends up happening is you looking like a fool and just getting hurt? I’m staying content because it’s neutral like number 7 on the pH scale.

2010-05-13T05:28:00.000-07:00

“When things go wrong, you’ll find they usually go on getting worse for some time; but when things once start going right they often go on getting better and better"

2010-05-13T05:03:00.000-07:00

but girl don’t let your dreams be dreams
you know this livin’s not so hard as it seems
dont let your
dreams be dreams
your dreams be dreams...

2010-05-12T02:20:00.000-07:00

"Im not going to be one of those people who sits around talking about what they're gonna do.I'm just going to do it.Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia.You spend your whole life stuck in the ladyrinth,thinking about how you'll escape it one day,and how awsome it will be,and imagining that future keeps you going,but you never do it.You just use the future to escape the present "

2010-05-12T02:11:00.000-07:00

Why am I so afraid to lose you when your not even mine.

2010-05-11T00:14:00.000-07:00

If worship’s like perfume, I’ll pour mine out on You.
For there is none as deserving of my love like You.

2010-05-11T00:10:00.000-07:00

His gentle hand embraced my rough heart and broken soul
I am mended, redeemed in grace, and ransomed in love.
The heart of Christ seamed in the heart of mine,
I am whole again.

2010-05-10T04:11:00.001-07:00

Your heart is a river that flows from your chest,through every organ.Your brain is the dam and i am the fish who can't reach the core

-Death cab for cutie.

2010-05-03T07:47:00.000-07:00

“We all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still. The expected’s just the beginning. The unexpected is what changes our lives.”

; Meredith Grey - Grey’s Anatomy

I know I'm a strong woman, and I know what I'm fully capable of.

2010-04-27T02:42:00.000-07:00

I know what’s in my heart, what's in my mind.How I feel and what I do is all manifested through ME and no one else though some of my actions may be influence by others, I don’t allow that to completely dictate the outcome of my decisions.I am in no way shape or form apologetic for who I am.

I do what I think is best for me and my life it may not be suitable in the eyes of others but I rather stay true to my colors even if that does cost me to stand alone. But I rather stand as an outcast, than being loved for who I am not and will never be. My self worth is not empowered by the constant need of acceptance by others-I clearly don’t need someone to uphold who I am. Why conform to the standards of what this world wants when I already know what I’m about. It takes a lot more than a couple of hurtful words to infuse my confidence with insecurity. So people can do what the must to attempt to hold me back, but I will continue to do me-at my best and fullest potential. There’s no stopping me, I’m a force to be reckoned with.

random

2010-04-26T07:21:00.000-07:00

Stats About Esther

Esther Elfrida Keun has 595 friends. 177 of them are male, 326 are female, and 92 are confused about their gender. Based on her Facebook profile, Esther has a 99% chance of getting married and is likely to have 9 children over her reproductive years. She will make ab...out $14,292,080 in her life and pay $4,287,624 in taxes. In Esther's life, she will have spent 24 years sleeping, and 650 hours on the toilet. She will probably live to be about 99 years old. 536 people will attend her funeral with 11 of them expecting some kind of inheritance.

I like the money part xD

2010-04-25T01:18:00.000-07:00

“I am not the happiest person. In fact, in the battle between joy and misery, I’d say that the latter often seems to prevail. I don’t like this, and every day I refuse, for the eighty millionth time, to put up with another minute of it. But the world does what it does, and I often find it disagreeable. After all these years, I’m kind of resigned to that. But I do have one thing on my side: I have enormous faith. And hope. I am not speaking of the kind you find in church or in the afterlife or in heaven or in the Saint James Bible or in the Hare Krishna’s that we all encounter changing flights in the airports of the world, I am speaking of a simple faith that says that one way or another, no matter how many times I stumble and stub my big toe, somehow life is going to work itself out.”

forgive and forget

2010-04-23T03:04:00.000-07:00

That's what they say.

It's a good advice,but it's not very practical.

When someone hurts us,we want to hurt them back.

When someone wrongs us,we want to be right.

Without forgiveness,old scores are never settled

old wounds never heal.

And the most we can hope for.

is that one day we'll be lucky to forget.

2010-04-22T22:51:00.000-07:00

Unless it’s something personally important to me, I’m not going to go out of my way to argue back with somone (especially something so small, so minuscule, and most likely something irrelevant). It’s not because I’m “afraid” or I have no “back bone,” but I seriously do not have the time and patience to go back and forth with an idiot when it’s going to go no where.

2010-04-21T23:31:00.000-07:00

I miss you daddy I wish I can see you one more time I love you always.

"This time last year"

2010-04-21T01:50:00.000-07:00

Almost every day I think that to myself. I reflect on how much has changed, the people who were in my life, the way I felt. I compare and contrast, and then I just think to myself, “I would have never saw this coming”. Then I start to become a little afraid of what else is in stored. No matter what I do, everything ends the way they’re supposed to, regardless whether you think you know how to prevent it or not.

2010-04-20T01:46:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I used to like you. So what? Just because I did didn’t mean that we had to be together. And just because I did didn’t mean that it was going to grow into something more, I just liked you. Just liked. Just because we liked each other didn’t mean it had to be more than what it was. I don’t know how else to emphasize that when it’s plain and simple. The more you tried to force it, the more I started not to like you.

2010-04-19T01:44:00.000-07:00

I don’t think a lot of people understand that you can do anything to make a person happy, but if they just feel that you’re not the type, you can’t do anything about it. And the putting the guilt trip that you did everything you could to make them happy isn’t a good reason to make someone stay - they still don’t want to be with you, they”re just obligated.

2010-04-18T04:05:00.000-07:00

ZOMG, Joshua Michael Peck a.k.a Josh Peck from Josh & Drake.
HISSS PHUCKING HOT.

Before.

After.

His mine

2010-04-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

“I’d learned about the places I wanted to go, I’d talked about them with friends, but I hadn’t actually set foot outside my door. The terrain of my hear, the landscape of love, was still entirely unexplored. But people are right when they say the hardest step of every journey was the first, and I was scared.”

2010-04-13T23:26:00.000-07:00

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Friends are like balloons: once you let them go, you can’t get them back. So I’m gonna tie you to my heart so I don’t lose you.”

2010-04-13T02:09:00.000-07:00

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”

Les Brown

well what is there to love ?

2010-04-12T06:48:00.000-07:00

“i spend all my time trying to understand why people hurt those they love and why people hurt me or don’t care enough to hurt me even. but i always seem to ignore the shit i cause and stir up and ruin on nearly a daily basis by just being unhappy and confused. i spend so much time trying to decipher actions, trying to ignore my own mental state of disruption or confusion or whatever bullshit word that can be uttered to explain something that can’t be understood. it seems almost like human nature to try and discover everyone’s mind while ignoring your own. i am angry and frustrated and competitive for something i already have and would want to die without, i know you don’t approve but i feel that way. i have put all of this into you, i have put myself into you. i can never seem to wrap my mind around anything, i focus on a small detail and miss the big picture, fuck what even is the big picture? people always talk about seeing the bigger picture well what the hell is it, where is it. can they even see it? i can’t seem to find myself anymore, i can only find my problems. it’s not fair to feel this terrible while trying to experience the most beautiful thing in my life. it’s insane that i manage to ruin everything while loving you the most.”

“maybe that’s your problem, you shouldn’t love me the most. you should love yourself the most.”

2010-04-12T01:23:00.000-07:00

I now know better than to depend on certain individuals. I should have already picked up the signs after being disappointed so many times before but for some reason, I had hope that they would prove me wrong. So here I am, kicking myself over for relying on people when I should have known better. You can’t always receive the same treatment that you put out and I realize that they have ‘other’ priorities that might differ from mine. Therefore, things are about to change quite drastically. Don’t ask me for anything, don’t rely on me, don’t even think about it. If you want to be selfish with your values, I will learn to be as well.

Thanks for everything (whatever that may be).

2010-04-10T22:06:00.000-07:00

“Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.You’re not as fat as you imagine.”

2010-04-10T03:57:00.001-07:00

“Since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general, only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess”

2010-04-10T03:49:00.000-07:00

Tell me about your affairs, all the torrid details, all the blushes and anxiety, I’ll keep it all close to my chest, I swear. Tell me about your sins and your secrets. We’ll be blanket buddies stuck in this night.

2010-04-09T23:12:00.000-07:00

Lately, my eyes have been been able to perceive much more than it had been seeing. Everything has surfaced from the ashes of denial and lies. I have been blinded by oblivion but now that I am able to take notice of how people react and listen to the things that they are saying, it has become a lot easier for me to distinguish between certain factors. But at the same time, it makes me question their motives. I don’t see myself as a threat to anyones happiness so there is no need to become defensive.

Believe me when I say, I see everything.

blue

2010-04-09T05:02:00.000-07:00

2010-04-09T03:21:00.000-07:00

In your soul are infinitely

precious things that cannot

be taken away from you.

the women

2010-04-08T03:26:00.000-07:00

A million stars would explode from within her eyes; eyes that told ancient stories of the devastating war between every man who sacrificed his own soul to attain the sacred holy grail who was rumored to have taken the form of a female. Her lashes curled innocently like Venus fly traps, waiting patiently for the next willing victim who dares to underestimate the potent of such angelic features. Her pupils dilated in the manner of her pounding heartbeat. She had the heart of a warrior and the lips of a thief, stealing every soul and baring their anatomy to the pale, crescent moon. Her love was like a revolver, made ready to kill. She was venomous to the touch but too hypnotically entrancing to resist. Such will to live would become completely obliterated in the presence of such a beautiful face - the Queen of death, the Goddess of lust, the temptress of desire, in the flesh. I fell in love the same day I completely surrendered my soul to the devil and died the same grandiose moment of my rebirth. While our eyes had their secret rendezvous, I felt the fire that burns passionately in the core of such an magnificent soul. The essence of her being was like the inexorable truth, a phenomenon of its own kind, a rare breed of artistry. She was far too majestic for words and I find myself slowly slipping into the crevices of excruciating desire to see her, just so that I can relive every single second of our short encounter. I have become another prey to the most dazzling predator of them all, a woman.

2010-04-08T03:25:00.001-07:00

There are some people in this world who dedicate themselves to the well-being of people they may never meet in real life. And it just blows my mind to think of the lives they save, just by paying attention and caring, that people trust them enough to give them the numbers to call when something goes wrong. It’s beautiful, to think there are people out there who care that much, just because they understand.

Not that this makes any sense to any of you without context, but whatever. Just know that there are good people in this world

2010-04-07T17:41:00.000-07:00

I hate when people send a text message like a long ass text message and then like somebody replies with like one word and you don't text them back and you see them later and they're like, " why didn't you text me back ! ? " What the fork am i supposed to reply to ?

2010-04-07T04:23:00.000-07:00

“To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.”

— Anna Louise Strong

2010-04-06T08:25:00.001-07:00

Look at this babies.OMG

learn to reject the negative influence that the sadistic tendancies of others may have on you

2010-04-06T03:35:00.000-07:00

It is okay to be selfish every now and again. For looking out for others more often than you take care of yourself, is not healthy. It is exhausting and rarely worth it. Because people leave, especially when you need them most.

mighty to save

2010-04-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

My Saviour, you can move the mountains,
You are mighty to save,
You are mighty to save.
Forever, Author of Salvation,
You rose and conquered the grave,
Yes you conquered the grave

2010-04-05T05:58:00.000-07:00

Why you'ed say the truth hurts,are you feeling guilty for what you have done ?All this while You were using me just to forget bout your ex.Is this fair ? Since you know you can't be with her,i understand you miss her,but that doesn't mean you got to use me to get over her.THIS IS NOT FAIR AT ALL.Don't forget karma soon will hit you back REALLY HARD !

the truth

2010-04-05T00:51:00.000-07:00

I have a serious problem with letting someone know that i care about them, or that i may be dependent on their affection.

In every relationship in my life i am in a constant power struggle, attempting to reserve my affection and hoard it. I don’t like to share, I don’t like to feel like I care more than the other person does.

So i wait around until they tell me that we are friends, until they say that we are close, until they deem our friendship meaningful in their lives,and i just play along.

I will never define what a relationship or a person means to me unless they do it first. I refuse to ever let myself make the first move.

I will never care about you more than you care about me, and if i do, that means that i can no longer have a relationship with you because i will need to sabotage it in order to keep myself from getting hurt.

I know that it is wrong, that it is selfish and counterproductive to my happiness and the growth of my heart,but that is the way it is, every conversation i am having with you, every plan i make with you i am constantly thinking about who holds the power.

So when i disappear for weeks on end it’s not because i am busy, it’s because i need to show myself that i can survive without you. I need to reestablish that i hold the power.,that i care less, that a couple of weeks without you is possible.

So there you have it,

why every relationship i have ever had fails. why i am so fucking difficult about everything, and why i am always so quick to disappear.

and frankly, i don’t see it changing any time soon.

true love got the power to change any circumstance

2010-04-04T08:09:00.000-07:00

i knew we were far from the same but still i took a chance. wish i could have look in advance to your advances. knowing i’m the book that you read to your advantage. i understand it’s not like we planned it with the worst intentions. taken advantage, i was stranded in your first impressions. i know it hurts to question, what will be a curse or blessin’ i guess it’s worth confessin’, maybe then we’ll learn our lesson. searching for your attention, hoping you were doing the same.

2010-04-03T01:39:00.000-07:00

Nobody wants to admit this, but bad things will keep on happening. Maybe that’s because it’s all a chain, and a long time ago someone did the first bad thing, and that led someone else to do another bad thing, and so on. You know, like that game where you whisper a sentence into someones’ ear, and that person whispers it to someone else, and it all comes out wrong in the end. But then again, maybe bad things happen because it’s the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like.”

- Jodi Picoult

2010-04-03T00:32:00.000-07:00

URGH EVERYTHING IS SO PHUCKING MESSED UP.

I need patience.

there were so many things, there were so many signs

2010-04-02T23:02:00.000-07:00

and now i’m chasing wings knowing it’s a waste of time until my god reminds me of what i truly need. i take a look behind just before your beauty leaves to get a glimpse of you hoping that you see me too and know we staring at two people that we never knew and probably never know, hoping i’ll forever grow into the one who finally gained the strength to let you go. you changed my ideas of what true love is. i wipe my eyes clear and rise above this.

2010-04-02T06:22:00.000-07:00

French's classic yellow mustard taste so so so goodd.

2010-04-02T03:38:00.000-07:00

I’m becoming deeply stupid over this sometimes it’s ok but sometimes it’s not i sort of wish it would just pick a direction and go with it sometimes the not knowing is fine and all but mostly it isn’t mostly i just want to stab myself with a fork or eat my pillow or something.

grrr.

don't pay attention to what someone says

2010-04-02T03:34:00.000-07:00

Pay attention to what they do, instead. Words are just for talking. See if they can back up what they say. If they say something, just keep it in mind until you actually see what they said. The best way to judge something is to see it in it’s natural state. Anyone can talk the talk. Actions are proof of who they are. Don’t judge someone for what they say. If we judge everyone by their words, everyone would look like a king. Their words won’t have meaning until their actions give it definition. Always stay on your toes.

2010-04-02T03:25:00.000-07:00

OMG,first of all i want to apologize to SHANNEN YONG.
I woke up late,im so sorry i missed the practice.I'll make it up to you.=)
I havent gym in 2 days,i feel like a mofo.

weekend is back

2010-04-01T09:51:00.000-07:00

Cheerleading ; 8.00-10.30am.FML :/

Gym ; 2 hours,im dying to get into the steamed bathe.

Pack clothes ; Balik kampung for Easter.FTW !

BEST PART OF IT NO INTERNET,that means no blogging and facebooking.FOR A DAY !

Wedding ; On sunday.

2010-04-01T07:04:00.000-07:00

Today's dinner/supper was of the hook =D

I had Grilled chicken with mushroom with baked potato and garlic bread,while mummy had Grilled Dori fish with crabmeat together with baked potato and garlic bread.

Thanks mummy for the awsomeee food =)

2010-04-01T05:13:00.000-07:00

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be a better tomorrow.

2010-04-01T00:12:00.000-07:00

Great mummy prank me like againnn.Like twice,Anyways Im so happy to see her laughing. =) She puts a smile on my face.& again i got FOOLED. !

2010-03-31T23:30:00.000-07:00

Another hotstuff to perv over,David Blaine.

2010-03-31T23:18:00.000-07:00

Omg,i just watched this Titanic 2 Trailer,its so weird.

They found him and rise him up from the dead after how many godamn years,epic !

2010-03-31T23:01:00.001-07:00

Memories don’t live like people do
I’m sick for ever believing you
Wish you’d bring back the man I knew was good to me.

2010-03-31T22:57:00.000-07:00

It hurts when you have someone in your heart but you can’t have them in your arms.

2010-03-31T08:16:00.001-07:00

my mummy just April Fooled me

trust me,it's like the lamest prank everrr,and i got fooled.

maundy thursday

2010-03-31T08:09:00.000-07:00

Later, when the clock hits twelve, I’ll forbid myself from using the internet. I need to do this. People should do this. Catholics should do this. We should all, for a few days, do a little sacrifice to remember Jesus’ salvation to mankind. It is also the perfect time to recall our sins and ask God for forgiveness.

2010-03-31T06:00:00.001-07:00

L-O-V-E's just another word I never learned to pronounce

2010-03-31T03:58:00.001-07:00

This is all a game isn’t it? And I’m pretty sure everything is going according to plan. Am I the fool for not realizing the steps you’ve taken beforehand to reach your position now? The strategy and thought out plan you’ve made,you played well. You truly played your game well.

2010-03-31T03:56:00.001-07:00

I don’t think I have much to say about the way things are anymore. I’ll take it for what it is, and leave it at that.

2010-03-30T23:03:00.000-07:00

Minah minah tudung zaman sekarang ramai cacat otak [bodoh]
Pakai tudung tapi pakai pakaian ketat ketat [bodoh]
Ada pula pakai tudung tapi pakai t-shirt pula [bodoh]
Mana ke tidak masyarakat kita di pandang rendah [bodoh]

Keluar dengan mak pakai tudung
Pakai sopan aurat tertutup
Tapi bila keluar dengan kawan aurat tertedah
Bagi lelaki tengok percuma
Aku sendiri tengok pon heran
Agama kuat tapi baju ketet
Buka tudung rambut perang

Perang perang
Konon tu nak tunjuk belang
Tindik sini tindik sana
Bukan di telinga sahaja
Lidah pon ada
Muke decent tetapi perangai nonsense
Ikut sesuke hati dia
Tapi tak ikut segi agama

Dengan ibubapa pakai baju lengan panjang seluar panjang tapi di belakang
Lain cerite macam monster
Cabut kening ada tatu di badan dia
Pakai makeup pakai lipstick punya tebal
Macam momok macam momok

Masya ala masya ala
Tak boleh angkat tak boleh angkat
Tengok dia tengok dia
Goyang pantat goyang pantat
Masuk club pakai tudung
Pergi tandas buka tudung

Ooh
Kemana pergi budaya
Kemana pergi agama
Mana pergi melayu kita

Dengar sini semua
Jangan ikut trend masa kita
Kita rosak kita hancur
Siapa nak jawabkan bila kita di kubur
Mak nak jawabkan [sorry sikit]
Bapa jawabkan [sorry sikit]
Atuk jawabkan [sorry sikit]
Berani buat berani tanggung sendiri

Pikir baik baik
Pikir masak masak
Jangan kita menyesal di hari kelak
Pikir baik baik
Pikir masak masak
Jangan kita menyesal di hari kelak

Berubalah kamu sebelum kamu diberubahkan
Ye lah tuk
Tuk juga yang pandai kan
Wateva lah tuk
Eh eh budak ni

Sorry,I have a thing for Malay girls & i think this is the perfect song.

you'd sing a lullaby to get me to sleep

2010-03-30T07:15:00.000-07:00

So it’s no surprise my eyes are never heavy.For i’ve not seen you in the flesh for so long that i’m not sure we would know each other at all.

so i will hum alone, too far from you.

2010-03-30T07:11:00.000-07:00

All that i can say now is im nothing to you.We will lie under different star.
I am where i am, and you’re where you are.

2010-03-30T06:58:00.000-07:00

yes im still obsessed with Jake Gyllenhaal.

2010-03-30T06:53:00.000-07:00

It keeps coming back to me
I remember this pain
It spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull

Everyone’s smiling, they’re smiling
It pushes me far far away
I can’t understand
Everything is blue

Can you hear me out there?

Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
I’m gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can’t be alone right now
Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
I’m lost in a deep winter sleep
I can’t seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me

I know when I let it in
It hides love from this moment
So I guard it close
I watch the moves it makes

But it gets me, but it gets me
I wish I could understand how I
Could make it disappear, make it disappear

Anyone out there hear me now?

Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
Kiss my lips and maybe you can take me to your world for now
I can’t be alone right now
Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
Please make it all go away
Am I ever gonna feel myself again?
I hope I will

2010-03-29T08:06:00.000-07:00

It is really a classic temperamental error that occurs in most relationships: judging your partner by how you would react, even though your partner has a different temperament, different experiences, and different developmental and emotional history. Though we’re all tempted to do this, it’s really a form of narcissism - the way I would react is the standard for all decent people; so you have to conform to what I think is appropriate. Reconciling disputes born of temperamental differences requires binocular vision-the ability to see your partner’s perspective alongside your own, indeed, to see the world through his/her eyes at the same time you see it through your own. Binocular vision, perhaps the most important of relationship skills, makes the world seem richer and more dynamic. Failure of binocular vision creates a reactive narcissism (you’re incapable of seeing your loved one apart from how you feel about him/her).”

— Steven Stosny, Anger In the Age of Entitlement

2010-03-29T08:02:00.000-07:00

If someone wants to be apart of your life,
they'll make an effort to be in it
So don't bother reserving a space in your heart
For someone who doesn't make an effort to stay.

2010-03-29T08:01:00.001-07:00

ripped apart in minutes what was built in seven years
the ink scarred on your back may as well of disappeared
for as long as I remember, you sold everything you owned
but now you sold our friendship, you’re on your fucking own.

2010-03-29T03:22:00.000-07:00

This is why I no longer listen to the radio.

BEAUTIFUL GIRLS…ACROSS THE WORLD (change station)
I I I I COULD MAKE YO BED ROCK (change station)
IMA BE, IMA BE, IMA IMA IMA BE (change station)
IN MAH HEAD…I SEE YOOOUUU ALL OVER ME

Those songs (and other ones) are ALWAYS on.
They keep playing the same songs over and over.
And I used to like those songs too…but they went and killed

Such shit on the radio. and is it just me or is bedrock the worst most disturbing and creepy gross song ever.

2010-03-28T19:22:00.000-07:00

I remember going through this phase in my life where I hated everything around me. Dying seemed so easy, and living seemed so pointless. I didn’t like talking to people about my life.I didn’t like writing up sob stories for them to pity me. Someone told me that shit happens,you live and you learn, and the hamster wheel keeps moving. What’s the point of sitting around and mopping? Everyone has been wondering why I’ve been doing pretty good lately despite my failed relationship. Five words — you keep on moving forward.

2010-03-28T18:41:00.000-07:00

I blew off for not attending class so i could go to the gym to work out and now what am i doing ? I'm on google looking up of the oh so sexy Jake Gyllenhaal.

2010-03-28T18:31:00.000-07:00

I just follow my heart.Sometimes,maybe to often,I follow my pain.I'm trying hard to stop doing that.

P.s :Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

2010-03-28T01:32:00.000-07:00

Counting down another bloody 8 more months.